STRIPPED.

Briefcase.

Today has been wild. I’ve written quite a bit about the year of the snake the last few posts. Consequently, I have been reviewing the year as well. What did I learn, what am I letting go of, what energy am I bringing in? Questions of did I do enough, did I learn enough, am I worthy enough resurfaced through this process. As I was strolling through the aisles of Costco I was thinking about my job oddly. I have held a Senior Technical Recruiter position at a gaming company for over 3 years now. It has been such a…

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Must love dogs.

I’m staring at my work computer and my calendar is chaos and so am I. Gemma has had some post operative complications which is nothing life threatening but the lack of sleep, worry and extra steps in my routine has also complicated my emotional state. I’m actually very raw and hurting right now as I’m walking through some awareness’s. Something that has become very glaring to me in recent weeks is the perception of me to others. I take accountability for projecting it but nothing more. I am viewed as strong, independent and capable because I am. I have survived…

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Gemma.

This past weekend was a doozy. Lately, I’ve been moving through life with more flow than force. The Year of the Snake asked me to shed, not things, but patterns. Beliefs. Stories. Perspectives that no longer served me. Some of that shedding was painful, some of it has been profoundly freeing. And just as I thought I was working towards the tail of this snaking year, I had an experience that grounded my focus for 2026 and opened a new awareness as I prepare to enter the Year of the Horse. Anyone who knows me knows I love dogs. Truly,…

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The shedding.

Creation and flow were my words of 2024 which felt like a building year, a year of me creating the habits of a brand new person. A person who trusted herself, a person who shed weight physically, spiritually and emotionally. A person who bet on herself and owned her true essence. The armor and the masks were slowly dissolving and I could see them clearly. The illusions were coming to light and heading into 2025, I felt free and light. I felt aware and my heart was expanding. A little less protected than it had been before. I thought I…

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Breadcrumbs.

My daily walks outside are therapy for me. I hold them sacredly because I use this time as an opportunity to pour back into myself and reflect. While on my walks I mainly listen to music, scripture and podcasts- whatever I feel called to for the day. While I was out on my walk this past weekend, I was listening to a podcast by Derick Grant and a new awareness stopped me in my tracks. The podcast was released on August 7, 2025 and it was titled Parenting from Awareness. Derick talked a lot about his own parenting journey with…

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Twisted Sheets.

As I was making my bed this morning, I found myself in state of gratitude for my journey through marriage. Pillows on the ground, sheets tangled, comforter and blankets twisted and I couldn’t help but think that our bed symbolized the perfectly imperfect relationship we have today. Our relationship has been riddled with lust, pleasure, passion, betrayal, hurt, fear, shadows, light, love, joy and oneness. It wasn’t linear, it was messy like our bed. Two people each with their own messiness longing for unconditional love and connection, finding one another in fragile unhealed states, put on this earth (by no…

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Humble Pie.

To my oldest daughter, Let me start by telling you how grateful I am that you picked me to be your Mom.  I honestly had no clue what I was doing in your early years (hell, maybe not even now in your teenage years) but know that I loved you and never wanted to be the source of any pain to you. I never intended to cause you any trauma and when you made your debut into this world, my instincts were to protect you at all costs and give you a life different from mine…better. I found myself putting…

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Natasha.

Dear Natasha, You were a part of my story that I wanted to erase.  You were a young woman that I shamed.  I wanted to keep you hidden forever. My kids, family, friends and future colleagues were to never know of your existence. You were a secret, a lie and a very vulnerable part of me. After years of keeping your name in the shadows, it’s time you finally come to light.  I want you to know that I am no longer ashamed of you. You were a goddess and the definition of feminine power. You were sexy, strong and…

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I swallowed the darkness.

The path to healing is a beautiful mess in all aspects.  There’s days where things come easy and then there are days where you’re literally beating your head against the wall dealing with the same patterns and triggers over and over again.  My husband actually started to do the work ahead of me and what transpired was a man who led our home with more love, light, vulnerability and accountability.  He was easier to talk to, he listened to my feelings (when I decided it was safe to share them), he was more determined to provide and he fought for…

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“Baby Feet Close-up, monochrome”

September 26, 1984.

Dear Mom and Dad, Thank you for falling in love and giving me life.  Thank you for trusting in me to break the patterns and generational trauma.  Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you both for playing the roles you did in my life. Thank you for loving me and protecting me as best as you knew how.  Thank you for having the best intentions. Thank you for making the decisions you did which has shaped the person I am today. September 26, 1984, is my birthday and consequently a significant day in my journey to healing as well.…

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